The Gaze-Over

Have you had the experience of talking to someone one-on-one and you can tell by their eyes that they are hearing you but not really listening to you?  There is a haze in their gaze and though their eyeballs are looking in your direction, their mind is some other place.  The “gaze-over” most recently occurred with a woman I met at a party, but it happens with far more intimate acquaintances as well. For me, this reaction (or lack thereof) to my words makes me feel small, uninteresting and boring.  Is it me or is it them?  Do they have trouble focussing?  Or is what I’m communicating beyond dull?  What I do know is that when I am engaged in conversation with anyone - be it the server at a restaurant or my husband - I owe them my full attention.  They should see it in my body language and most importantly in my eyes.  They should practically see the wheels churning in my head as I take in every word and process the meaning and emotions of their utterances.  We are lucky to have the capacity to be attentive, so the next logical step is to stay present. Gaze in, not over.